I FOUND MY WAY BACK

The year is 2016. I have unrealistic dreams of loving someone’s daughter flawlessly. To the point where she would feel all the love in my heart and pour it back out in return. The guy I lost some time in 2019 has returned home. I feel him inside. My heart is warm and I have dreams of starting a family and making mini-mes. Increasing the quality of life and love of someone’s daughter who may be imperfect but just the right person for me to love on.

All these years I got so close only to realise that I barely scratched the surface. Going to bed feeling loved but waking up to empty messages that show the looming loneliness. Every time I tried to fight for the love I wanted it felt like I was trying too hard so I would crawl back in my shell again. I was left hoping someone would fight for me then we could go to war. A war against ego, insecurities, and a society that makes us feel unsafe in loving wholeheartedly, without the fear of being the one who loses.

Look at me now, I feel pure again. I want to love  in the best way. I want to sing love songs to someone’s daughter shamelessly without breaking eye contact. Go into the kitchen and make her something with a heart filled with love. Filling her belly as much as her heart. Also, her mind with positive thoughts of us until our reality becomes fairytale-like.